Bloody hell.

Ok, we're living in very close quarters at the moment. I just have a "what would you do" for you all.

The kids have some balloon swords from a carnival thing. They played with them for ages and had a ball. So now they're back in the motorhome, and Nate is done playing. Maya is twisting hers and it is making those squeaky balloon noises. Nate was in a bad mood anyway, and now he's complaining that the squeaking is driving him crazy. I suggested that Maya might take hers outside, but she didn't want to. Nate kept complaining. I'm annoyed that he has ZERO tolerance, and this isn't the first time. I suggested that maybe he get his iPod to listen to, to drown out the sound since he's having such a hard time with it. He's saying he'll still hear the balloon over the iPod (without trying). Whinge whinge whinge.

I said to Maya, "It sounds like Nate is really having a hard time with that sound right now and he doesn't quite know what to do. Do you think you could go outside?" and she did, no problem. Now she's outside, singing, playing, and he has asked me to shut the door so that "those annoying sounds don't drift in". I want to tell him FUCK OFF!!!! but instead I logged right on to ask: What would you do?

I'd tell him that 'no', I won't close the door because dd has done her share of compromise and now he should too. And that as a family we all have to put up with each other and sometimes someone is willing to compromise all the way but other times we just have to accept that we have to compromise to or just put with stuff the way it is. Or suggest that as it is him who is feeling annoyed that perhaps he should go outside and find a quiet spot to sit.

yeah. or give him some potatoes to stick in his ears

Sounds so frustrating. Would engaging him in a fun activity help him forget to be annoyed? Or failing that I like Ariad's suggestion of him finding a quiet spot outside.

Hope he gets his tolerance back soon.

By the way, I love the way you talk to your kids. So respectful

Thanks for the replies, women!

I have in the past read a lot at a big unschooling group, and a lot of times when someone posts their situation, the solution seems so bloody obvious So I thought, right, I'll post my situation, and of course it immediately became very obvious. I tenderly asked if he wanted to go for a little walk with me to get away. Problem solved. He was bored, and he has zero tolerance when he's bored.

Something that I TRY TRY TRY to do as a parent is to see things with fresh eyes rather than having the "oh here we go again " mentality, but I really struggle with it. Nate often finds himself with very little tolerance for his surroundings, and I really wish that he had some more skills in ignoring or tuning out. So when it happens that he can't handle Maya, I get really annoyed and frustrated that here we are again, Nate has no skills to deal with this no matter how many times we have been through it and how many approaches I have suggested.

I had a friend suggest a kids meditation CD to help him find his own peaceful place, and I think that would be awesome. Does anyone have any suggestions in that vein?

you're so right about it being a help to post things.
sometimes it can be really hard to see the course of the river when you're drowning in it

I don't know of any tapes but we've got a book called Starbright (I think, I'll have to check up who the author is) that has some really nice kids meditations. They always eventually send my kids to sleep.

Great idea, the walk. Sometimes I have a hard time with something like this then when I'm laying in bed I think "a-ha, I should have (eg) taken them for a walk". When you're in the midst of complaining and squeeky balloons, sometimes the solution is so far away! So then I deal with the mother-guilt for not thinking of the (eg) walk, and hope that it's all good tomorrow.

Maureen Garth is the author of the meditation books. There are CDs too. My kids like different things. The boys like stories, especially funny stories. Lily likes affirmations and music. The older girls loved guided meditations, now they like music.